Once Upon A Dissension BETA
by ugh
Summary: A Dave/Jade written in the style of Anastasia 1997 movie . BETA-PROLOGUE ONLY Jade is the heiress of the Crocker corporation, but has lost all of her memories, including those of her beloved "grandmother", Betty Crocker. Will contain some Beta Trolls and feels. Also will eventually contain ONE song from the movie with 4th-wall commentary.
1. Chapter 1

(Author's note: I will NOT be publishing this particular story on this website. I will be posting it on my Ao3 account, username "Bisabis". It will be complete with art by the lovely and wonderfully talented and my good friend Peregrine Williams [fanfiction dot net], aka Spocktalia [Tumblr]. This is sort of a test run to see if people will actually like it or if I'm just fooling myself into thinking it's good, a BETA, if you will. Please review!)

(P.S.: This is hella long for a prologue, so be prepared)

* * *

PROLOGUE

_Once upon a time, on a planet unlike our own, there was a company led by a kindly woman. She never aged and ruled over her company with an iron fist and a kind eye. She loved her adopted children, dark-haired like her own with vivid eyes, like they were her own and they loved her back unconditionally. The boy grew up loving to fight and the girl to bake. They had two children of their own with equally vivid eyes together. All was good. She made sure of it._

_Their home was splendid and stood atop the company headquarters. They never wanted and always received. They led lavish lives, and the grandchildren knew nothing of the poverty that lay outside their walls nor the unintentional turmoil caused by their elders…_

"Mother, please sit down!" Jake pleaded. Betty Crocker was not a patient woman. She paced along the hospital hallway, waiting for her adopted daughter to bear children of her own. How the shell does two offspring at once even happen? Her troll tendencies betrayed her human façade. She was going to _krill_ someone any minute now. "Jane will be done soon."

"This is why I hate human reproduction systems," she mumbled. "Always late and inefficient!"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," she snapped. "How much longer?"

"The doctor said that it depends on the babies, oh my. Excuse me." He reached into his pocket and wiped his forehead with a handkerchief. He was worried. Rather, she would know that he was worried if she even looked at him. She did hear him mutter, "Gadzooks, this is taking forever!"

She sighed and threw herself down next to her adopted son.

Jake finally said, "Jane is so amazing, going through this."

She rolled her eyes.

In that moment, the doors opened and the nurse came out with a smile on her face.

"Congratulations Mr. English, you are now a father," she said. She turned to Betty and with disbelief said, "Ms. Crocker, you are a grandmother."

Jake nearly fainted and his mother slapped him upside the head. She did not know or care the meaning of "grandmother". She just wanted to see her heirs.

"Come with me please!" the nurse said. She led them to Jane's room where she lay in her bed, one dark-haired baby in each arm. "They're perfectly healthy and very beautiful babies, if you ask me."

Jake practically pranced over to Jane's side and tenderly kissed her forehead. Betty immediately recognized it from a scene in one of the movies that Jake made her watch. This boy cannot come up with anyfin original. She looked on while Jane handed a panicked Jake one child while the other one started crying. He looks totally incompetent with one of those in his arms. Oh cod, he's approaching.

"Look, it's Jade!" he said, holding up the child. Her eyes were open, and just as green and vivid as his. She looked into Betty's eyes. Betty stared back. Jake was talking, but she couldn't hear him. There was something about this child that was different, but familiar. The child's arm somehow broke through the tightly bound blankets and reached out to touch the troll's flattened fins. "Mother!" Jake shouted. Betty snapped back to reality.

She smiled to herself, her blood pusher stirring. "This shall be my new heiress," she said finally.

* * *

-Eight Years Later-

Jade was now eight. Her birthday party took place in a grand ballroom and all of their friends and employees were invited. Jade was in her little blue dress and a red cardigan, with her new sneakers that rivaled the latest fashions among eight-year-olds. There was a procession and everything when she entered with her twin brother, John. One hand held John's hand, by her mother's request, and the other clutched a crayon-scribbled piece of paper. On it was a picture she drew a picture of her favorite grandma, well, her only grandma, and as soon as she spotted her sitting on her throne in the front, she let go of John and ran up to give it to her.

"Gramma, I drew you!" she said, handing her the drawing. She was proud of it. It was a work of art. Oh yeah.

"It's fintastic," she said, smiling and patting Jade's head. It was barely recognizable. Was this supposed to be her? No matter. Her attention was caught by John attempting to push over the cake table. He was dealt with by Jane before anything was destroyed. She had no tolerance for that behavior, but today was her favorite heiress's special day so she overlooked it.

"Thank you! I love you!" Jade said, curling up in her lap. Sometimes, this girl acted like a canine beast. It was cute most of the time, she had to admit.

"Presents!" John wailed from across the room. Jane scolded him for yelling indoors, but was interrupted.

"No, let us commence with the opening of presents!" Betty Crocker announced. Jane scowled from across the room. They never liked each other. They knew it, too. Always doing the exact opposite of what the other wanted. Jade immediately leapt up from her grandmother's lap and headed over to the large table with extravagant gifts sitting on it. The guests all whipped out their cameras to see whose gift made them the happiest. Jade felt her hand tugged backwards. "Stay a minute," her grandmother said.

"What is it, gramma?" she asked. Betty bent down from her throne, holding one hand behind her back. "Open your hand for me." Jade complied. She pulled out whatever was behind her and put a small box in Jade's tiny hand. "Open it."

"Oh, pretty!" she exclaimed. In the box was a set of colorful rubber rings. They were a little big, so she put some on her thumb. "Thank you, gramma!"

"These rings are special," Betty whispered. "Do you see my rings?" She held up her hands, which were decorated with shiny golden rings on every finger. Jade nodded. "These are not just for show. They give me secret powers. These rings are the same. They help you remember things you need to remember. I made them myself, so as long as you are wearing them, we can never be separated."

"Like we're together always?" Jade asked.

"Always." There was something about Jade that made Betty smile.

Jade scampered to the table of presents and joined her twin. One the way, she saw a boy her age with golden hair. She was sure she had never seen him before, so she went up to him fearlessly.

"Hi, I'm Jade, do you want to play with me and John?" she asked.

The boy's red eyes widened. He looked up at his dad, who was wearing a baseball hat and tugged on his pants. His dad looked down and he pointed at Jade.

"Play?" he asked.

"No Dave, we are but mere commoners," he answered. "You can play with Cal when we get home."

Dave frowned and looked like he was going to cry. Jade pouted, and Dave said, "Sorry, Jade." Jade sulked and made her way towards John, who was standing on the table throwing gifts around left and right, like he was looking for the biggest box.

All of a sudden, the double doors were thrown open with a loud slam.

"Betty Crocker!" a man bellowed. He was in his late twenties, but had a deep voice. His clothes were disheveled and he looked like he hadn't shaved or brushed his dark, shaggy hair in a couple days. His dark complexion did not hide his freshly formed acne. He also reeked of alcohol. He had been fired for attacking a manager the previous week.

"What do you want, Noir?" she yelled back. Jade and John both ran towards Jane and she wrapped her arms around them protectively.

"I thought we told you never to come back here!" Jake shouted, getting in his face. He had Noir by his collar and winced at the smell.

Jack Noir smirked and grabbed hold of Jake by his throat. His wife screamed, but held her ground for her children. Jack lifted him up just enough so that his toes barely touched the ground.

"I wasn't talking to you, _English_." He threw Jake at the closest crowd of people, toppling them like bowling pins. He turned to the CEO and threatened, "You enjoy your little party today, for tomorrow, I will return and kill everyone who I can find! And I won't be alone, either! Mark my words!"

"Yes, we'll sea about that," Betty Crocker replied. She approached Jack. "And exactly how are you going to do it?" She stood in front of him, crossing her arms. She was pleasantly taller than he was and smiled down at him. It felt good having power over someone else.

Jack smiled in return. "Like this." He whipped out a knife and reached for her left wrist at the same time. As soon as her fingers were in his sight, he aimed and grabbed the middle finger and cut it off. Success. The whole process didn't go over two seconds.

Betty screamed, not expecting him to have such power. He was a sniveler when she knew him. She held her hand, unsure what to do with it. She had never been in pain before. Man, this was intense! Everyone that was close enough to hear the events go down also screamed, including her family. She growled as he picked up her twitching finger and took the ring that was on it and absconded from the room. She growled at his retreating form while Jake chased after him, guns out and about. The guests were practically trampling each other to get out of the room. What a bunch of unworthy little—

Jade and John's crying filled the air. When Betty had gathered her thoughts, she noticed that there was no one around her. She looked over to where the crying came from and her eyes landed on the gift table. She went over to the tablecloth-covered table and lifted it to find Jane, John, and Jade huddled there. The children clung to Jane, screaming when the light hit their eyes. Jane sighed with relief.

"We should leave," Jane told her.

"He's not a threat," Betty countered.

"You're an idiot."

"You're not the brightest bulb in the box."

"That man is going to kill us!"

"We'll be fine!"

"Say that to your finger!" She lifted her left arm, the one holding Jade, and pointed it to Betty's bleeding hand. "You're powerful, sure, but he is, too! I'm not risking my children for that!"

"You shut your mouth!" She pointed at her adopted daughter with her "bleeding hand" and winced.

"I'm taking them tonight, and you can't stop me," Jane said calmly. "Come on, kids." She let them go and back away from her adopted mother to the other side of the table. John followed, but Jade crawled to Betty and clung to her waist. "Come on, Jade, let's go pack your things." Jane beckoned. Jade shook her head against the troll's side. "Let's go, Jade."

"No!" Jade protested. "I wanna stay!"

The building suddenly rumbled, like an explosion went off far away.

"We don't have time for this!" Jane pleaded.

"You don't trust me then?" Betty Crocker said.

"Not as far as I can throw you," Jane replied.

"Clearly, she wants to stay with me, so I will take care of her. If you're so concerned, take the boy and go."

Jane gritted her teeth. She was right. She picked up John and carried him in her arms. She paused at the door, telling her mother to go to the safe house.

"Jade!" John called over Jane's shoulder. "Jaaaaaade!" He cried her name over and over until he couldn't anymore. Jane packed the most expensive things she could find in her and Jake's bedroom and her credit cards into a suitcase, then filled the rest with some of John's clothes. They escaped through the back, away from the sound of the explosion from earlier.

"Come along Jade, I must dress my wound," Betty said, reaching out with her good hand. Jade took it. She looked on the verge of tears. "We are leaving in the morning and will meet up with your mother and John there, okay?"

Jade nodded.

* * *

-A Few Hours Later-

Jack Noir stands alone in his apartment. He has laid waste to one whole room at the Crocker Corporation Headquarters. He only brought one homemade bomb, for it was all he planned for. The rest would be taken care of the next day. He did his homework on the ring he stole. He didn't know where that bitch got such a powerful item, but he knew what it did and what it was. It was technology from his own home planet. Stolen from the queen. The tabloids covered it extensively, except they were all bungling idiot who couldn't figure out a year-old tomato sauce stain from a suspect. As far as Jack was concerned, though, it didn't matter where the damn ring was from, just that he had it now.

He put on the ring.

Nothing.

He kicks the nearest object, which was a coffee table, and smashed the glass top.

"_Fuck!_" he yelled. He felt a tingling in his hand that the ring was on. He lifted the hand to his eyes and squinted at it. It seems that he needed an emotional outburst to make it work. He summoned up all of his anger and the tingling turned into pain. He iced the cake with one final thought: revenge. The pain immediately shot from his hand to the rest of his body. Wings sprouted from his back, a sword formed through his chest, his left arm disintegrated, and a jester hat appeared on his head. He looked at himself in the mirror and thought the hat was rather appealing. She smiled.

"Why wait?"

He shot out his window on his new set of wings and headed straight for Crocker Corps. It is now three in the morning.

* * *

_KABOOM!_

More explosions? Betty Crocker awoke, Jade sleeping next to her. They were finished packing, but they did not expect to hear any explosions until the next day. She looked at the clock. Four-thirteen AM. She snatched the sleeping Jade and their shared suitcase and ran out the door. Jade woke up as the familiar halls rushed by.

_BOOM!_

Jade squealed, burrowing her head in her grandmother's shoulder.

* * *

Elsewhere, Dave and his older brother, not his father, flash-stepped around the twisting red vines that were currently destroying Crocker Corps. He knew this was the last time he would ever step foot in his job again, so he and Dave went to salvage whatever they could to sell and live off of in later years. Being an aspiring rapper did not pay the bills.

"Listen Dave, I need you to do something," he said.

"Yeah, Dirk?" Dave asked.

"If we ever get separated, go straight home. Save as many people as you can, but the moment you can't see me, go home." He doubted that there were any people around anyway at this hour, but it wouldn't hurt to check. Dirk Figured that if the family that lived upstairs had any sense, they would be long gone by now. "Repeat it back to me."

"Go home when you die," Dave repeated.

"Close enough."

* * *

Meanwhile, Betty and Jade had come across the Red Miles. She knew these vines well. You cannot escape them. She expertly dodged them as they attacked from all sides. Jade clung tightly to Betty's shoulder.

She tripped over something and the Miles shot forward. She wrapped her arm around Jade, shielding her from the fall. She looked back at the annoying thing that tripped her and her fuchsia blood drained from her face. Laying there was Jake. She got up and quickly ran before Jade could see her father lying on the ground, deader than her own guardian on her planet. The Red Miles were attacking, and she had no time for Jade to mourn.

She turned a corner to find a dead end. She turned behind her and saw the Miles approaching. There was a door on her left. She pulled the door open, threw the suitcase in, and slammed it behind her. She really wished she had her prototype ring right now.

Jade peeked up at Betty's face and climbed down.

"Are we safe?" Jade asked, taking out her tiny box of rings. She put some on one-by-one nonchalantly.

The door began rattling violently. "No. No, we are not," she answered. She grabbed the suitcase and Jade, making her drop some of the rings.

"My rings!" Jade shouted as the door flew open, revealing two golden-haired human males in sunglasses defending themselves against the miles, and doing a good job at it, too.

* * *

"Whoa," Dirk said, noticing the two leaders of the company. Dave turned as well.

Jade let go of Betty and leapt at her spilled rings on the ground.

"Jade, no!" Betty shouted. The Miles went around the two boys and launched at Jade. Dave flash-stepped Jade out of the way just in time, the Miles shooting into the floor.

"Dave, get those two outside and call the cops," Dirk ordered. "I'll get it from here, lil' bro."

"Okay," he complied. Still holding Jade, he grabbed onto Betty and got them outside safely. "Go, run!"

Jade and Betty took off in one direction while Dave pulled out his phone and called 911.

* * *

High in the sky, Jack Noir was flying, inspecting the area. He saw two figures running towards the parking garage and followed them. He flew at them like a hawk in free-fall, sword positioned above his head. the little girl noticed and started screaming. He was almost upon them when something hit his wing. He stopped and jerked his head around to see who—

"Pick on someone your own size!" a yellow-haired human child shouted. "Run!" He reared his hand back to throw another rock.

Jack's eye twitched, so he came at Dave next. He flash-stepped out of the way and behind Jack, and threw the rock, hitting him square in the back of the head. This cycle continued until the cops showed up, and the girls were long gone. Dave turned to run to the police cars.

Jack flash-stepped in front of Dave, slapped him, and knocked him out cold. He turned to the cops, who were well-prepared.

"Drop your weapon!" one man shouted into his megaphone. "This is the police, and we will shoot if you do not!" Jack laughed and attacked anyway. The guns were a nuisance. Simple guns were no match for him. But the police had a backup plan. A few of them attacked and attacked with tasers, managing to knock him out of the sky long enough to subdue his wings and put cuffs around his wrists. They dragged him kicking and screaming, sending some of them flying, and shoved him into a cruiser. How humiliating. He stewed in his anger, glaring nowhere in particular. Thanks to these pesky authorities, the Red Miles attack on the Crocker Corporation was halted. He needs to finish the job.

"You have the right to remain silent, you freak of nature," the officer said as soon as he got into the car.

Jack grumbled to himself and stared out the window. He could easily escape these chains, why was he still sitting here. The officer continued to mirandize him, and he ignored every word. He doesn't need this. He got an idea.

"SHUT UP, HUMAN!" he shouted.

"You first, clown!" the officer shouted back. He laughed at his own offense. Jack shook his head in shame. Humans were more pathetic than he thought. The police officer turned around, still laughing, and started the car. "Haha, I amuse myself sometimes."

Most of the cruisers started to pull out of the grassy area, sirens blaring, and converged onto the main road and into the downtown area. It was nearly five in the morning and clear, save a few cars and the homeless population. As soon as they were out of sight, Jack broke the cuffs, peeled the barrier back with his bare hands, and held the officer's neck with his arm. He planned to just strangle him to death, but he discovered two extra limbs appearing from his ribs. He grinned. He held back the human with those limbs, and stabbed him through the seat. The car swerved a bit, but Jack regained control with the, apparently extendable, arms. He let the car slow down until the other vehicles passed him completely, then turned into an alley. In a stroke of luck, he sees the witch and her young ward run past. He discarded the body out the window and got into the front seat through the peeled-back barrier and followed them in the car.

He caught up to them, and turned on the high-beams and sirens. Startled, they whipped around, shielding their eyes.

"Do you two need a ride?" he called. His eye twitched in anticipation.

"Yes, officer, thank you!" the old hag replied. "Come on, Jade." She tugged at the girl's hand and walked towards him. Yes. Good. A little closer and…

"Hey Noir, nice hat!" someone said rather loudly next to him. Jack turned to the window on his left and saw a happy homeless man knocking on his window. Droll. What was he doing here? He was fired for fucking up all the time. He broke three copy machines and managed to make the brother of the little girl in front of him cry last year. He was only working for a week.

Jack looked to where his targets were. The bitch heard Droll's comment. Shit. She took the girl in her arms and ran off.

"I deal with you later!" he shouted as he took off, tires screeching.

"Bye, boss!" Droll called, smiling stupidly. "What a nice guy."

Luckily, she ran slowly with a child in her arms. He accelerated.

* * *

Betty Crocker heard the tires squealing against the pavement and panicked. Out of breath, she yearned for water. This was not a desirable experience for a seadweller such as herself. She turned into an alleyway. She gasped exasperatedly. Was it too late to turn run the other direction? She turned and ran, eyeing a main road straight ahead. Safety was within reach! Before she could sigh with relief, the cruiser pulled out in front of her, cutting them off.

Jack turned sharply into the tight alley, positive that he banged up the car and lost a few hubcaps in the process. He and the Condesce commenced in a staredown.

Jack revved the engine.

Betty clutched her precious cargo.

Jack sped forward.

Betty took a step back and tossed Jade to the side, making her hit the wall unintentionally.

Jack chose the older one.

After he made sure she was down, he backed out of the alley at top speed to the main road, where there was a flurry of police cars surrounding the opening, guns aimed and barricades set up. They told him to stand down. He smiled. His job was finished. He was content. He took off the ring. His hat and wings disappeared, his powers gone. As much as he enjoyed them, he didn't need them anymore. He got out of the car with his hands up, still smiling, and threw the ring behind him in the alley. It was useless to humans anyway. He got down on his knees and put his hands behind his head on his own accord.

"Jack Noir, you have the right to remain silent," one police officer started to mirandize him again. Jack cut him off.

"Guilty as charged," he replied. He was arrested and thrown into an armored truck.

He leaned back against the wall of the truck and relaxed, unaware of the commotion outside.

"They're still breathing!"

"Someone get an ambulance!"

"Is this blood fuchsia?"

* * *

-Two Weeks Later-

Jade woke up in a strange white room in a strange white bed. She gasped and sat straight up. Panting, she looked all around her. Her eyes settled on the tubes and wires poking out of her arms. She screamed and yanked them out, sending the machines into a tizzy. There was one thing that occurred to her as she was running around the room barefoot and in white hospital pajamas.

She couldn't remember her name. She heard voices outside her door and ran over to lock it. She ran around the room and started looking everywhere for a name. She saw the bed was inscribed "SleepyTime Industries" and dismissed that as a possibility. She found some toys lining the windowsill, but they all had different names on it from previous kids and threw them on the ground in frustration. There was banging and yelling coming from the door. She jumped and eyed a clipboard at the edge of her bed. The paper on it had all sorts of big words on it, but she understood "Name" and read "Ja" before she was interrupted by the click of the door unlocking.

She ran to the window and opened it. Luckily, this was the first floor and she took off running. There was something ominous about this place that she couldn't put her finger on. She ran and ran until she found a playground. She looked all around her and realized she was completely lost.

"Ja," she said aloud. It didn't sound right, so she added letters. "Jay. Jayo. Jaya. Jaya." She liked it. She'll keep it.

She sat on the swingset, alone. She wondered if her parents knew where she was. Maybe not her parents. Somebody else? Her parents and somebody else must be looking for her. Hmm. The sun began to set and she started to get cold. She looked around and saw people, but none of them came running for her, picking them up and taking her home. She started to cry.

She wiped her tears with her hand and saw colorful rings on them. She remembered something special about them. Someone she loved told her they were to help her remember things. Who? Her head started to hurt. She remembered it was someone important. She sat crying on the swing, not sure what to do.

"Oh, shut. _UP_!" someone yelled behind her. She turned. It was a greyish-looking big kid on a bench covered with newspapers and wearing a beanie. "I'm trying to sleep here and not to have night terrors and here you are, being one!" He sat up and the newspapers scattered, revealing tattered clothes that had mysterious stains on them. "Do you know how hard it is when I don't have any fucking slime? I hate this planet! I hate children!"

"I hate you, too!" Jaya yelled back. She got up from the swing and walked toward him.

"What the fuck, why are you coming near me, human?" he said, curling up against the bench away from her like she was contagious. "Don't come near me, you're wearing medical fibers!" She balled her hands into fists and started hitting him, tears streaming down her face. "Ow, hey! Stop that!" He grabbed her wrists and she wailed. He was scarier up close. His red eyes were practically on fire. "You listen here, small human, I am more powerful than you are, so you have no chance! Now when I let you go, will you stop hitting me?" Jay nodded. "Okay then." He let go and put his legs back on the ground. "That's better. And congratulations, I am now infected with whatever disease they quarantined you for." She kicked his shins.

"You're mean!" she shouted, thrusting her fists behind her. "And you're already sick, fuckass! You have weird skin and weird clothes! I hate you!"

"Why, you little—!" He reached for her shoulders and missed, falling forward to his knees.

"Karkat!" a woman shouted. They both turned to the voice. "There you are! You had me worried sick! Well, all of us anyway." The woman was older than the grey guy, but not by much. Karkat was the grey guy's name, huh? She wore a long green dress with a funny-looking "M" on her chest. She had short black hair and dark green eyes that matched the dress perfectly. Jaya thought they were related, because she also had the greyish skin color. She was prettier, though, Jaya thought.

Karkat's face turned red with embarrassment. "S-sorry, Kanaya," he muttered. He sat on his ankles and pulled the brown beanie over his eyes. Jaya looked close at his face again and looked like he was in pain.

"Karkat?" Jaya pronounced, touching his face. "Do you have a stomach ache?"

"What? No, I—" He cut himself off, lifting the beanie from his eyes coming face-to-face with the little human girl. He pursed his lips, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want Kanaya to see him get violent with children. "I'm fine."

"Oh, thank goodness!" Kanaya breathed. She turned to Jaya and bent down to her level. "Hey there, what's your name?"

Jaya answered frankly. "I don't remember, but I named myself Jaya!"

"Such a pretty name, Jaya." She shot a look to Karkat, who crossed his arms and huffed. "Let's go to the authority regulation headquarters and find your parents, okay?"

"Okay!" she replied. Kanaya took her hand and beckoned Karkat to follow. After some coaxing on Kanaya's part, they walked to down the street, holding hands in a three-person line with Jaya in the middle. She had no idea what an "a thoriddy regular head courters" was, so she went with them.

A police cruiser with their sirens blaring wailed past them, and Jaya went wide-eyed. She remembered sirens and being carried and feeling really scared. There were also red and blue and bright lights. Her head started to hurt again and fell to her knees and started crying. "No, no, no, no, no!" she chanted over and over. She sobbed uncontrollably until she was picked up by Kanaya and hugged closely.

"No, don't be sad," she cooed, petting Jaya's hair. "We'll go to our place instead!"

"_What?!_" Karkat protested. Kanaya shushed him.

"Hey, Jaya, how does that sound? Good?" Jaya nodded against Kanaya, probably smearing boogers everywhere. "You can stay for a couple days, okay?" Jaya nodded again. She turned in the other direction and Karkat followed.

"Kanaya, what are you thinking?"

"Karkat, call Sollux and tell him to use his hacking skills to find out who she is," she ordered.

"But I haven't talked to him in months!"

"Just do it. We need to find her family."

"Ugh, fine," Karkat groaned. The last thing Jaya heard before she drifted to sleep was, "Hey, asshole."

* * *

-The Next Day-

"Well, that was a bust," Karkat said, barging into Kanaya's motel room.

Kanaya Maryam was startled awake by Karkat Vantas's rude entrance. They were staying in separate rooms at a cheap motel in the city of Seattle. They heard there was an adult Troll in this area, but didn't know where to look. Their island about a hundred miles off-coast was filled with grubs that they didn't know how to take care of. There were no lusii on this planet, either. Kanaya took responsibility and turned a large abandoned mansion they found on that island into an orphanage. Karkat helped out most of the time and the grubs loved him, but he hated all small living things. He was a good worker, Kanaya thought. The island itself had plenty of food, flora and fauna alike, so taking on a human child was not a big deal, if push came to shove.

"There is no record about any Jaya human that looks like her in this entire city," he said a little quieter, pointing at Jaya.

"Well, according to human rules, one is not officially 'missing' for at least a day," she informed him.

Karkat threw up his arms and made unattractive yelling sounds.

"Make sure you miss the furniture this time. We cannot afford to pay for more of your… outbursts." She drew her attention to Jaya, who was still sleeping soundly and stroked her hair.

Karkat's phone rang with his obnoxious standard ring, which Kanaya personally thought was very uncharacteristic of him. She would have thought that he would have an illegal pop song download. She stood up and told Karkat to put it on speakerphone.

"What?" Karkat yelled into the phone. The lispy voice on the other end was not pleased.

"I go through all thith trouble and you anther with that greeting?" the voice deadpanned.

"Whatever, Sollux."

"What did you find?" Kanaya asked.

"Well, thith jutht in, ladieth and gentletrollth, we got a hit." He cleared his throat. "She'th an orphan."

"Oh no, that's terrible!" Kanaya exclaimed. She glanced at Jaya's sleeping form.

"It thayth here that she wath found in an alleyway with her guardian, who ith altho unidentified, victimth of a car acthident. Motht of the information wath covered up, but I can't actheth it without thith pieth of shit planet'th therverth going batshit and have uth all arrethted. I thwear, if theth recordth were covered up any more, they would be a government conthpirathy."

"Why is everything on this gogdamn planet so stupid?" Karkat remarked.

"I don't know, KK. But one thingth for sure, she'th thpecial." Sollux yelled at someone on the other side. "Yeah, that'th it tho, later lotherth." He hung up.

"Well, that just makes things easier," Kanaya finally said. Karkat grimaced. "Hey, don't give me that look, or I'll make _you_ adopt her."

Karkat pinched the bridge of his snout and sighed. "Alright, fine. I'm going to get some food for the trip home." And with that, he left.

* * *

-A Few Hours Later-

"Wow, this is so much fun!" Jaya squealed. She had never been on a ferryboat before. In reality, she had been on a boat only once, when Betty took everyone on a magical floating boat ride journey in the sky, but didn't remember that. "Whee!"

Karkat tried to keep a low profile and not to draw attention to himself or Kanaya. Kanaya, on the other hand, was actually _playing_ with the little girl, humoring her and such with bullshit answers about how the boat worked, what the ocean was called, and who the people were. Unlike Karkat, Kanaya was a child person, which is what he loved about her. Did he say love? No! He meant liked. No, wait. Urg! He shook his head vehemently.

"So where are we going?" Jaya asked Kanaya. They were at the front of the boat, leaning against the railing. The day was very foggy, so there wasn't much to see anyway.

"Well, are going to our island home," she answered. "First, we are going to go to another island from this boat, and then get on a smaller boat where one of our friends is waiting for us. It's not quite as large as this one, but it is comfortable." Kanaya looked out into the distance expectantly.

"Whoa." Jaya imitated her. A few minutes later, out of the blue, she asked, "Do you like him?"

Kanaya's breath hitched, but she promptly answered, "Why would you ever think that?"

Jaya peered out of the corner of her eye and thought her face turned a green color. Was she sick? "Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes I am fine," she answered, the green fading from her face. "I'm sorry about that. You see, Karkat and I are—"

_HOOOONK! _The foghorn blasted. They were nearing their destination.

"I will tell you later," she continued, taking Jaya by the hand. "Let's go, Karkat!" she called.

"Yeah, yeah," he answered.

* * *

-Half an Hour Later-

"Oh my, it looks like you brought us some dinner!" a girl clad in blue stated quite loudly and rudely. She stood next to a small motorboat, which was called _The Marquise_.

"Shut up, Vriska," Karkat snapped. "We found her. Just another mouth to feed at our stupid wriggler orphanage."

This girl looked even older than Kanaya, Jaya thought. She had long flowing black hair and also had a greyish tint in her skin. She wore sunglasses one lens popped out. She also wore a close-fitting shirt and pants, boots, and a pirate hat. All blue. Except for her sword, which was silver with an ornate handle.

"Your glasses look funny," Jaya said, pointing at Vriska with the hand that wasn't holding Kanaya's.

"Jaya, hush," Kanaya warned.

Vriska squinted her eyes and brought her mouth to one side. After a few tense moments, she laughed out loud.

"I like her!" she cackled. Karkat rolled his eyes and Kanaya sighed with relief. "Get on the boat, douchebags! We don't have all day!" she ordered. She leapt over to the old-fashioned steering wheel and started blasting pirate music from a boom box next to her. She turned the key while the other three carefully entered the 15-foot boat.

Karkat plopped down as far from Vriska as he could, which was the tip of the boat, while Kanaya kept Jaya fairly far from both. She was beginning to think that they would corrupt this poor human that they were looking after.

* * *

-On the island, and 20 miles of Karkat and Vriska bickering later-

"What took you guys so long?" a guy in a huge purple cape questioned. He wore silly striped pants and a purple shirt, and his hair was spiked with a rather large purple streak. Jaya rubbed her eyes and stared at the orange pointy things coming out of his head.

"We had to go around a storm, thank you very much," Vriska replied, throwing the tether straight at his face.

"Hey!" he yelled, catching the rope just in time. "I don't appreciate what you're doin' there, Wris," he barked.

"Oh, bluh bluh _bluh_," she mocked.

"Why is everyone fighting so much?" Jaya asked, looking up at Kanaya.

"Everyone is just a little… testy, that's all," she answered.

Karkat scoffed. "Testy," he muttered. "What an understatement." He crossed his arms and leapt over the side of the boat before it was tied to the dock. "I'm going to my respiteblock!"

"Uh, Kar, you might not want to go in there," the purple guy warned.

"Or what, _Eridan_?" Karkat derided over his shoulder. He charged down the winding path into the trees stubbornly. When they finally tied up the boat and let the passengers off, there was a blood-curdling scream heard in the distance.

Eridan shook his head. "I warned him."

Kanaya sighed again. Before Jaya could ask, she said, "The little ones love Karkat and always pile on top of him." She smiled a little. "He doesn't hate them—"

"Yes he does," Vriska cut in. "They love setting booby traps and drawing on his face!"

"No, that's what you like to do," Eridan corrected with a smirk.

Vriska looked at the sky and chuckled. "Yeah, you're right."

"I am going to go help him out anyway," Kanaya said, bringing the subject back around. "Would you like to join me, Jaya? Everyone there is about your age."

Jaya nodded excitedly. "Okay!"

They set off on the winding path that Karkat had gone earlier and came across a slightly run-down mansion. It was mainly brown and grey, and was rebuilt on some places with strange architecture that didn't quite fit. It was like a jigsaw created from three different puzzles. Even from the distance that Jaya was from, she could not see the roof. The four stories and low-slanted design made sure of that. One of the double doors in the middle hung open slightly, and screaming and laughing was heard from the inside.

"Oh, dear," Kanaya murmured. She led Jaya inside. The inside did not have anything except for a crystal chandelier and a couple of couches in the entryway, and a hallway that led to an even bigger room. Right under the chandelier was Karkat, covered in children of all sizes and giant different-colored bugs with human heads. Every single one of them had orange things sticking out of their heads like Eridan, but in different shapes. Jaya stared. Karkat spotted them.

"A little help?" he shouted over the screaming tiny people.

Kanaya let go of Jaya and reached into her pocket and pulled out a lipstick container. "Ahem," she coughed. None of the children responded. She twisted the container and it morphed into a chainsaw. Jaya's jaw dropped in excitement. Kanaya revved the chainsaw twice.

The grubs and toddlers ran off screaming and laughing. Karkat laid sprawled out on the ground, face-down. His trench coat was ripped in one spot, and was scrunched up. Kanaya put the chainsaw away and walked over to Karkat's head, offering a hand. He looked up at her, blushed scarlet, and scrambled down the hallway. Kanaya shook her head.

"Welcome to the Alternia mansion," she smiled.

* * *

-One Year Later-

"She's waking up!" a muffled voice said. Betty Crocker fluttered her eyes, but didn't want to open them. Why was the world so bright? I want to sleep more. Long ago had she been graced with the ability to sleep soundly and without night terrors. She determined it to be the recipes her company is so famous for. But then she remembered. She gasped and bolted upright.

"Jade!" she screamed.

_I never saw her again. Everyone I knew in that house, except for Jane and John, who both escaped safely and out of my "control", as Jane so eloquently put it during the years I raised her, were dead. I don't blame her. It was my goal. Jane was just smart enough to realize that. Jake was dead, my Jade was missing and most likely dead, and I have had to relocate my headquarters. Even if she were alive, she would not find me. I lost hope. I retired a year after the case went cold. Jade would have been ten human years old. I am a recluse. A sorry excuse for an Empress. I let my company be run by blithering human idiots. My only hope is that John returns to take it over for me. As long as my Jade was gone, I would be, too._

__(So yeah, that's the prologue. Again, please review. At this point, I don't care if you say things from "I love it" or "Go burn this story" to a super-long review about how my grammar sucks or my imagery is crap or how it's too slow or whatever. I will not post it until I complete it, so keep an eye out!)


	2. It Is Finished

It is posted!

Go to my profile page, go to the bottom of my bio, and click the link!

Enjoy!


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